And we’re off and away

Going off to college while in a relationship…it sucks. He says he wants to try, which is fine. But I don’t think he’s serious enough about it. I’ve been there, I’ve tried, I’ve gotten -excuse the language- fucked over. Every time I’ve had a boyfriend or best friend leave for college, it’s gone horribly. He means more to me than any of them did though, so I wish he’d understand how difficult it is to be in a long-distance relationship. Truthfully, unless he’s serious, it would probably just be better to break it off before college. We’ll see I guess though; it’s never easy and there’s no real goal. Staying together all through college would be impossible, so who knows. Wish me luck.

Greetings from Home

I just got back from a wonderful trip to Alaska. I’ll write more later. Need to catch up on some sleep now; we flew through the night and I read a book the whole time. 👍

Help me out here.

I need some good blogs to follow! Personal blogs would be nice. Kinda like mine. Or writing blog, or scientific ones; whatever! I can’t figure out how to search blogs on here since I use the app and not the actual website; I know there’s lots of great blogs out there and I would love to find some more of them! Any suggestions for blogs would be greatly appreciated. Comment with them or whatever pleases you. Thanks!

Bear with me here

I have a lot to write I feel…lots to get off my chest I guess. So let’s begin:

Calling someone beautiful: If it’s someone that you don’t know, kind of know, or have just started dating, use it only if it’s really true and sparingly. Got it. If you know someone well or have been dating them for a considerable amount of time; please, I beg please, use that word. Don’t just use it as a consolation word when the person is feeling crappy about his or her self, use it when they do something that impresses you, when you’re admiring that person as a whole (not just their looks,) use it whenever you want, it’s not something that can be easily overdone. Trust me, it’s better to over-use it than to under-use it. I don’t care if outwardly they are the farthest thing from beautiful, if they’re someone you care about, they should be able to count on you for a self-esteem boost often. Because trust me here, negligence in using the word enough, if hardly at all, hurts.

Crying: I’ve decided that it’s okay. Fuck, we’re human, it’s what we do when we’re sad. Now I don’t mean crying in movies or at TV shows or any of that sap. I mean the alone at night, I’m emotionally exhausted, kind of crying. It happens. Feeling the warm streams fall down your cheeks can be comforting and sometimes it’s all that you can do to make yourself feel better. Cry it out and be done.

Maturity: PUH-LEASE make the effort not to act like a 12 year old with me because we once kinda liked each other and you went on liking me after I got a boyfriend. It’s not my fault that you still hardcore obsessed for so long after that. Now we’ve agreed to just be friends but you can’t do that because you have the maturity level of a peanut! And it sucks! I would just like my friend back. Oh, and now that you finally do have a girlfriend, please stop trying to make her seem like the new-and-improved version of me when you’re in my presence. You got her a ring basically identical to mine that my boyfriend gave me. You’re kidding right? You point out every similarity we have and make sure hers is just slightly more impressive or better than mine? Again, you’re kidding right? So come on now. Stop being a baby and let’s be friends again. Thanks.

Party preppin’

My grad party is Sunday! Whoo! But so much to do. The house is a f*cking mess. I can only do so much myself. We all need to crack down and get it down. The house cleaner comes tomorrow, I’m not sure she’s gonna have much to clean cuz there is like no surface space anywhere for her to clean! Shit. I’m stressing. If only we cleaned more. We’re just not that kind of people. Sue us. Our house actually looks like people live in it. But oh well, we’ll manage and make it look like we don’t by Sunday. Go team!

What to do when Happily-Ever-After is falling down

You can fix it or you can let it crumble. I don’t know what I want to do at this point. I wish he was my happily ever after but right now I’m thinking he’s not. I was upset earlier and he made no attempt to comfort me, that sounds petty of me to be weird about but whatever. And now, gosh idk, he’s being cold toward me; maybe it’s my fault? Who knows. All I know is that I’m so confused. In person, we’re great and I can’t imagine not having him by my side. When we’re not together though, well it’s okay most of the time, but times like this make me question it. I start to pick fights, because it’s stupid and that’s just what I do when it’s late and I’m tired. That’s when I’ll actually say what I feel and think; sometimes not enough, sometimes too much. Just depends. I guess I’ll end this stupid rant I just feel a little fed up. It’s not like I’m going to make any move to break up with him or anything, I would never. I just wish he’d put a little more effort in, maybe I need to tell him. He may not even know. I guess we’ll just see, by tomorrow morning at the latest. We’ve never stayed pissy with each other longer than that. So yeah.

Project

When I was in fourth grade I wanted to….
Be a musician (pic of me with flute)
Wear my big girl shoes (high heels)
Go to a princess ball (prom pics)

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